Warning: 18+ readers only; this blog is dark and full of terrors!
This story contains questionable religious themes of a sexual nature, as well as mild to graphic gore, and scenes of a very erotic nature. Do not read on if these are things that you may find offensive or upsetting!
I'd been obsessively thinking about Elias' twenty-first birthday the whole week leading up to Friday, the day of his party. And I knew exactly what I'd be gifting him: me, entirely... I was nervous yet excited. The love I felt for him was unbearable at times, especially when he was touching me, and I could think of only one way to express it to him.
As the last bell rang and I stepped out of English class, I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket. It was a text from Elias.
"When can you get here? The party has started already, but it's so boring. Can't wait to see you."
My heart jumped up into my throat as I smiled uncontrollably. I quickly changed into a pair of jeans and a sweater in one of the toilet stalls before heading to my locker to collect my violin. With a tremendous sense of accomplishment, I shoved my school uniform and books into the empty space left by the heavy case. I'd told my mother I was going to a festival after school and wouldn't be home until Saturday morning. She was bound to ask the nuns if they'd seen me leave with it, so I made a show of nearly dropping it as I said goodbye Sister Mackay as she passed me on my way out. I would say it felt horrible to lie, but it honestly didn't. I'd been lying for a while now, and this was just another little tale she wouldn't question me about.
I burst through the doors and headed into the snowy school grounds, thinking about what would await me at Elias's flat, when that terrifying, haunting sensation came over me again, compelling me to look up at the church steeple.
I stared at the tall roof and the ornate stained glass, that same pattern I saw every morning from my window, but this time... it was like remembering parts of a dream. The same tense feeling fluttered in my chest as I saw - no, I felt something staring back at me. I thought I could see a figure standing behind the window. At first, I wasn't sure it was even possible, and my brain must be playing tricks on me. But the longer I stared, the more convinced I became that someone was staring back at me.
But it wasn't a person, nothing human. A horrified chill ran through me, and I could feel my heart pound against my chest. The dark figure disappeared, and I realised it was the same thing that had been haunting me, and I'd finally seen from where it was always watching me.
By the time I'd got to the bus stop, I'd almost forgotten the sensation I'd felt outside the school, and my mind was now occupied with imaginations of the night ahead. I smiled at myself, holding tight to my violin case.
It wasn't long until I was at Elias' and standing in the kitchen. He'd greeted me with a very masculine hug of sorts before leaving me there to fend for myself with a cup of what can only be described as sugary pink vodka in my hand.
About half an hour after my arrival, I saw him chatting to another guy across the hall, and I instantly felt jealous. There was nothing even remotely suggestive in their body language but the fact alone that he was choosing to spend time with some only vaguely attractive, beer slugging Neanderthal upset me.
Just as I was imagining throwing my drink over him in some dramatic, movie-esque move, a girl approached me. She looked a lot like Elias, only a little younger.
"You look so lonely standing here by yourself..." she said in a low hum, stepping closer. I looked away, feeling awkward.
"Uh yeah... I don't really know anyone." I tried to shuffle away a bit. Just act cool, I thought to myself as the girl set her cup down on the counter behind me.
"I'm Maria." She sounded a little more casual now, but she was starting to push her chest out a little, reminding me of a bird in courtship. "I'm Elias's sister."
"Oh, I see..." I mumbled. I glanced over at Elias. He was still chatting to the other guy while I was being danced at.
"Well, what's your name them?" Maria let out an ineffective suggestive laugh.
I scuffed my shoe against the linoleum and sighed as if admitting defeat. "Nate."
She began edging more towards me, asking me what it was short for. I looked up at Elias pleadingly, and this time he saw me. Patting his friend on the shoulder, he turned and walked towards me, as if he'd only just noticed me.
"Nate!" he said enthusiastically. "When did you get here? Hey, let me show you around!"
I couldn't help but let a big smile cross my lips as he touched my hand, indicating that I follow him.
As he lead me to another room, he began to explain his curtness. "I'm so sorry, Nate. My friends don't know about us and if they did they'd only make my life harder..." He opened a door and held my hand. "This is my room. We'll be okay here."
"So... no one knows?" I asked as we walked in, afraid of what the answer would be. "You could have warned me." Elias locked the door behind us before continuing.
"Well... you know the guy I was speaking to? He'd probably kick my head in if he knew."
"And your sister?" I said, sitting on the bed.
"She'd be okay but, she's kind of over the top about everything. She'd probably run right out and buy a Pride flag for the garden." His husky laugh soothed my nerves. "I'm really sorry," he said, smiling gently. "We can tell them soon, I promise."
I leaned forward and touched my lips to his, my way of forgiving him.
As I pulled away, he placed his hand on my cheek, grazing it softly with his thumb. "You know, maybe if you... if you let me inside you... I might feel more comfortable telling them." His eyes darted to my lips in between words.
"You mean... if we..." I looked away as the nerves began welling up. I was annoyed with myself; I'd been planning this, but as soon as he mentioned it, I froze.
"If you're not ready, it's okay... but I think it would strengthen our love, you know?" Elias' hand was still on my cheek, still stroking it softly. "If you don't trust me, then -"
"No, I do!" I said, interrupting him, afraid of what he'd say. "I will... I want to."
That's all the permission he needed, and as he pulled me into an arousing kiss, he pushed me down gently on the bed, and I felt a firmness against me. Before long, there were no clothes or words between us as we fumbled between his bedsheets.
It was clumsy, hot, painful, and a bit messy; pretty much nothing like I expected. The whole time I wanted it to be over. It hurt every time he thrust. It felt like it went on for hours, but in reality, it only took ten minutes. After he came, we lay awkwardly apart from each other in silence. The mood between us had become a very different kind of intense; he felt disillusioned and I, violated. He turned and reached to touch my hand, but I shrank away and turned over, covering myself with the sheet. I pulled it over my head as if to bury myself. Before, I would've liked nothing more than to feel him but after... I felt very, very different.
Not long after that, I heard him quickly dress and leave, the door left slightly open. Once I was sure he was gone, I resurfaced and winced in pain as I pulled my clothes back on. I should've been over the moon, but all I felt was regret. It was hurtful to think that I'd been so wrong about myself, and about Elias, and I didn't want to believe it. I headed for the kitchen to find him to talk to him. I wanted to apologise for being rubbish. But when I saw him, he was surrounded by his friends, passing a spliff around. He was extremely impassive towards me. He uttered no more than a forced "' Sup?" accompanied by an apathetic nod.
"Not much at all," I replied coldly, and I turned to leave.
I had no idea how I was going to get home so late, with being unfamiliar with my surroundings, so I decided to sit on his front step to collect my thoughts, clutching my violin like a security blanket, shivering from the cold.
I'd been sitting for a few minutes when some drunken fool lurched against me and tumbled headlong into the snowy bushes.
"Shit..." he mumbled, touching his lip with his fingers. I noticed then he wasn't drunk at all.
"I'm so sorry, are you alright?" I blurted out, suddenly feeling guilty for being sat in such a stupid place.
A pale face looked up at me, a little blood trickling from the corner of his mouth. The boy didn't look like Elias' typical friends; long dark hair, really blue eyes and an intimidating black coat.
"God, you're bleeding!" I stood to help him, but quickly he righted himself and dusted the snow off his coat. Before I could get a better look at him, he suddenly legged it, nearly tripping on the bushes as he did so.
The feeling of troubled nostalgia overwhelmed as I watched him walk quickly down the street. It couldn't be...
By Monday, I realised it was over between Elias and I. I'd left his party shortly after meeting the stranger at the doorstep, and I hadn't heard from him since. Part of me had expected him to call, at least to confirm the end of our relationship, but he'd ignored my texts. So when I saw him standing outside the school waiting for me on Monday, I was immediately thrilled. I shouldn't have been, given the way he'd treated me, but I couldn't help that lingering tenderness for him. I was naive to feel this way.
"How have you been?" he asked quietly, after an awkward and lacklustre kiss.
"Fine..." I replied quietly. I couldn't stop myself smiling, and I kind of hated myself for it. Instead of calling, he wanted to see me in person... "I'm really sorry about... how things happened on Saturday."
"Look, I need to tell you something..." Elias blurted out and looked around him. "But you have to remember that I do love you, I wasn't lying when I said it," he added quietly, his eyes darting around warily.
I waited, my heart thumping in my chest; I could feel it in my ears and temples. Every part of me was trembling from the chill in the air and anxiety in my heart.
"I've been meeting with Father Clarke..."
As he continued to explain his deception, I could feel overwhelming nausea spreading all over me. But what was worse was it was so shockingly unbelievable. I'd always heard rumours about Father Clarke but I never in my mind thought any of it might be true. The fact that Elias fell for his charms when he didn't even go to the school sickened me. Knowing that they'd met because of me... that's what revolted me the most.
"You're disgusting..." is all I could bear to say. As Elias tried to embrace me, I pushed him away. "Leave me alone!"
I watched, heartbroken, as he walked away. Feeling utterly extinguished, I turned and headed for the steps, alone to wallow in my pity.
I turned to look up at the church, and pray that God would strike Father Clarke down, but before I could do so, something fell from one of the gargoyles at the front of the gate. At first, I thought it was one of those big umbrellas, that maybe someone had left it there. I rose from the step and squinted at the black pile on the ground for a few seconds. As I approached, a body started to form; arms spread out and a mop of dark hair, black boots and a ratty-looking red scarf.
"Are you okay?"
No reply. As I stood, blankly waiting for some kind of response, I felt lightning gently tapping me, and my heart was racing.
"Hey... you're not dead, are you?" I crouched down to see if the pile was breathing. I reached to pat it on the back, and a posh little voice uttered from underneath the hair.
"No... no, I'm good," he said, lifting his head from the snow.
I stood up. "Let me help you..." I grabbed his arm. "Are you okay?"
He started brushing the snow from his hair. "Just a bit... damp." Just then, he looked towards me, and I felt his bright, familiar eyes penetrating me. There was such emotion in them it frightened me. "Are you okay? You look... sad."
I'd forgotten I'd been crying. "It's nothing." He looked away sharply as if he felt he'd intruded. "Do you usually fall over things?"
"No, I'm usually pretty light on my feet." He looked nervously around. "I'll be going then."
I couldn't help but feel like he had some sort of explanation to my unasked questions. As I watched him walk away from me, I couldn't let him go.
"Wait... You were at that party. I thought I recognised you," I said, trying to sound like I hadn't noticed before. He stopped slowly, and I suddenly felt darkness emanating from him. There was a crushing silence.
"Do you... know Elias?"
It just came out. Some desperate part of me, crying out for an explanation. I watched his face turn slightly, his voice cold.
"I really have to go."
An empty house greeted me, and I wearily threw my bag into the corner of the hall. The loud clatter echoed through the hollow stairwell, ricocheting off the walls. Such a grand house with such minimal furniture.
Alone again. My mother and stepfather were still at work, my half-sister with the childminder. But it felt serene and quiet, and I enjoyed the two hours of peace every day after school.
As I looked around the pristine hall, I got the feeling of being in a hospital; everything white and extremely clean, but nothing personal. Who even lives in this house? It didn't feel like a home at all.
A heavy sigh rumbled in my chest as I dragged myself up the many stairs to the attic to start my Religious Study homework.
By six o'clock, everyone was back, and I found myself escaping the prison; since my visions, I'd be frequently sneaking out and breaking into the school fire escape to climb up to the roof. The first few steps were retracted above the tall bins and bolted with a flimsy padlock. It was easy to reach the lock and force it open with one of my mother's hairpins before unfolding the ladder-like stairs. After reaching the first spiral in the steps, I pulled the ladder back up and bolted it again. The first time I did this, it had been in search of some kind of explanation for my visions. But instead of answers, all I ever found was the beautiful silence of being alone in the dark. Something about seeing the stars and all of Gravebrook town centre really put into perspective how small and pointless I was in the grand picture.
This particular night, I stared up at the sky thoughtfully. It was exceptionally bright after the frost that day. I stayed clear of the sensor lights by the little stairwell that lead to the door. It always looked like some kind of an underground bunker to me; the roof like a silent, uninhabited planet, the door leading to the only civilisation left. I felt genuinely lonely this time.
God, if you have any mercy whatsoever, please... just make me ordinary.
I could see the brightness of the sky; the moon, crescent with so many stars, like glitter sprinkled on the night. As tears pricked my eyes, it reminded me to have faith in what He had planned for me. I felt corrupted after my relationship with Elias, after all the dishonest things I'd done... If He could create something as beautiful as this twilight, then I was sure He could help me repent -
A great weight then came down on me, flinging me to the side and landing me quite painfully in the snow.
"You can't jump! Please don't jump."
It was that strange boy again. I couldn't move under his body, his grip held me down firmly. "Umm... I wasn't going to..."
I heard a muffled "Oh," before a slightly more distinct "Sorry."
After a few seconds, he lifted himself off me, visibly embarrassed, and pulled me up. He rubbed his hair. "I'm really sorry. I hope I didn't hurt you..."
I giggled again. "No, I'm okay." My brain was screaming at me: Is this guy stalking you or something?! But I brushed it off. "What are you doing up here?"
"I.. I... I saw you from the grounds and..." he stammered a little. His face looked a lot more colourful than before.
"I come up here to think sometimes, that's all." I'd felt scared before, but now it just felt like bumping into an old friend, oddly safe and familiar. "So when you're not falling over, you're bringing people down with you?" I smile at him. I should've been warier of this shady stranger, but I couldn't help but feel a weird attachment to him; his effeminate features and slightly nervous disposition made him too easy to smile at. His face continued to flush, glowing a little under the starlight.
But then the anxiety came, the worst it had ever been. It was like a shuttle of ghosts was driving through me as a paralysing, almost instinctive fear bore down on me. As the boy smiled, my own faded as I saw the reason I should've been afraid.
Sharp canines, much sharper than the average human, and about half a centimetre longer peaked out through his lips. They were barely visible, especially in the dim light, but I knew immediately what I was looking at.
A vampire.
His smile faded quickly as he saw the terror on my face unfold. It was then I noticed, looking at his eyes, that they had changed colour. My body was telling me to run, but as he opened his mouth to speak, I was frozen.
"How did you get up here?" I glared at him, trying to seem less afraid than I was.
The thick eyebrows upturned a little. "I climbed..." He looked up at me, pleadingly. "Are you frightened of me?"
"Your eyes... And... and..." I stared at those horrifying teeth, just for a second hoping there was a less mythological reason for all of this.
"I'm not going to hurt you, I promise." He started to look like a child who'd been caught doing something he shouldn't have. "I won't hurt you." Those teeth... What he could do with those teeth.
I took a cautious step back. "Who... what are you?"
"I… it's not what… I don't…" He moved a little closer to me, but the fear had started rising again.
"Don't come closer!" I didn't mean for my voice to sound so distressed, but now that I'd seen what he was, I felt terrified.
His eyes widened, and he looked at me, injured. "I won't bother you again."
I stared in surprise as he leapt over the wall. "No!" I shouted after him, leaning over the edge, watching him fall. He landed on his feet, gracefully. It was like nothing I'd ever seen before. I should've been relieved that he'd left me alive, but there was something in the fear that I liked.
"Come back!" I found myself calling to him. "Please!"
An indescribable sadness swept over me. Something inside me yearned to know more; who he was, what he was... and most importantly, why he'd been haunting me.
I waited for quite some time outside the church, leaning against the wall. I needed confirmation, to be sure he was who I thought he was. And this was the only way to find out.
I felt a strange sensation come over me, the allure of danger undeniable. I needed to see him again.
There was a quiet thump in the snow, and I turned to see him, crouched on the ground.
"So it was you I saw up there," I said, not sure whether he'd even talk to me or just go all Bela Lugosi on me.
"What are you doing here?" he sighed wearily, turning to look at me. Dark smudges encircled his purple eyes. He looked exhausted and in no mood to be answering my questions.
"I've not stopped thinking about you. I need to know who you are..." I frowned at him. "Those images. I know they're from you."
"I'm sorry. It won't happen again." He seemed irritated, impatient like he had somewhere to be.
"Can we just talk or something?" I felt reckless; as if I was putting my life in danger - and I guess I was. "At least tell me your name."
"It's Kaleb," he said dejectedly. "You don't seem so afraid of me now. Why is that?"
I wanted to say something else, but I couldn't think of the words. "I don't know..." I admitted shrugging.
"You should be afraid of me." He sounded almost threatening, and I could see his teeth slightly as he spoke.
"Why..?" I stepped closer, feeling the attractive thrill of the risk I was taking.
Kaleb's face softened incredibly with his words. "You have to know, I could easily kill you. Believe me, the hunter in me really wants to..." Even with this gentle threat, I couldn't shake the feeling of fearful excitement. "And the human in me just wants... to be near you. But I can't. I can't ever. The hunter is the stronger part of me."
And then he was gone.
Little did I know that in three months, he'd be saving my life and capturing my heart.
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