Warning: 18+ readers only; this blog is dark and full of terrors!
(Strong & suggestive language, plus some sexy scenes!)
This story is an AU (Alternative Universe) and Out of Character fanfiction written for YasminBJD, containing mostly her characters (see Credits and The Stories for details) and a couple of familiar faces.
It is my own interpretation of Les liaisons dangereuses/Dangerous Liaisons and contains scenes of a very sexual and sometimes upsetting nature, and strong adult language and themes. Please keep this is mind if you choose to read on!
After an evening of stewing in my own feelings (envy, rage, lust, who knows), I'm almost happy when my phone rings at 10pm.
Ana's face flashes on my screen as some random song plays out by some band she likes (I have no idea what, she set it herself) and I answer hesitantly.
"Are you not coming out tonight?" Her voice is a bit muffled. She must still be in her room; she doesn't get good reception there.
"I don't really... feel like it."
A sigh. "Who are you?"
"I'm just... I have a lot of studying to do."
"Oh, do you just want to spend more time with Kikuchi?" I hear mocking in her voice. It instantly irritates me.
"He's not even here. He..." My voice falters. I can barely even say it. "He's with his boyfriend."
There's a brief silence on the other end before I hear Ana's cackle of a laugh. "Boyfriend? Oh, that's rough..."
"The bet isn't off," I say determinedly. "I can still get him, boyfriend or no boyfriend." I'm not sure which one of us I'm trying to convince more.
"Well, I'm not gonna hold my breath for it." She's still laughing as she speaks. "I better go buy some extra-large condoms... I hear your dad is -"
"I'll get him." My words fall through gritted teeth. "I'll be fucking your brains out in no time." I press the End Call button, my hands shaking.
The room is filled with darkness and quiet. I feel like I'm listening to try and hear Dora's soft breathing, but of course, it's not there. He's still out with the suspected boyfriend. He's probably at his house.
No, I bet they didn't even get to the house. Mr Tall probably drove them to a quiet place, touched Dora's face, told him how beautiful he is... Dora's eyes likely closed at the sensation of his fingertips on his skin, and as Mr Tall's hand trailed down his body, Dora would have whispered in that quiet voice of his Fuck me, you tall sexy man, before grabbing Mr Tall's shirt and ripping it off... Then they would push the seats back - or maybe just climb straight to the back - and tear each other's pants off, and later -
Something hits the window above my head. What the fuck... I lay still for a minute, thinking it might have been a bird. But then something hits again, and I jolt up. Seriously, what the fuck is that?
I open my window and hang my head out. Dora is stood in the field waving.
"Hey!" He shouts up at me.
"Shhh! Someone will hear you!" I scold him as quietly as I can. He's obviously drunk. "What are you doing?"
"I'm druuuuuunk!" he whispers dramatically. "Come down and get me!"
"You know the front doors are open, right?"
"But I want you to come down!"
"Oh for the love of God..." I say under my breath. "Hold on, give me a few minutes..."
I climb off my bed and pull my clothes on. What is Dora playing at... I find myself checking my reflection as if I cared what he thought of me, before lacing my shoes.
When I begin my climb down the gutter, Dora is sitting on the grass, swaying back and forth as if he's listening to music.
"What are you doing?" I say quietly to him when I reach him.
"I'm drunk," he says with big eyes, lifting himself up.
"I can see that..."
"Let's go have some fun!" He lets out a wide smile.
My heart flips upside down and then rightways up. This is the first time I have ever seen him smile. And it's beautiful.
He grabs my arm and starts dragging me across the field towards the main school building.
"Where are you taking me?" I ask quietly.
"You'll see!"
He sounds so cheerful. He must have definitely got laid. My stomach sinks again as I imagine him with Mr Tall And Sexy. But then I focus on Dora's hand pulling mine, and that's all I can think about. He's touching me, and he wants to touch me. It's only my hand, but I like it, and I want to go wherever it is he's taking me.
It's a five-minute walk across the dark field. Dora is telling me all he's drank. It's a lot; two pints of Guinness, then four pints of Carling - each with a shot of vodka at the bottom, then there was tequila shots, and Jack Daniels shots, and flaming Sambuca shots... It sounds like he had quite a night.
We approach the janitor's hut, and he reaches behind a flower pot, retrieving a key.
"Dora, what... how..."
"Sshhh... the janitor will hear us."
I start to protest, "What -!" but Dora takes his hand and covers my mouth with it.
Quietly, he says, "Sshh... do you want us to get caught?"
He's really close to me. In fact, if he took his hand away, I could quite comfortably kiss him. He's staring right in my eyes, and he's smiling. I want to kiss him so badly. There are only about two inches between our bodies and I so badly want to break the distance and pull him into me. And I nearly do; just in the few seconds it takes me to build up the courage to place my hand on the small of his back and maybe pull him towards me, he moves away from me, and I'm left a little breathless. He doesn't even notice. He's slipping the key in the door and turning.
When we get in the hall, he starts walking towards the basement.
"Seriously, where are we going?"
"On an adventure," he whispers at me, a tiny smile in his voice.
What am I doing... Following this very drunk boy, who is clearly insane... We could get expelled for this, I'm sure. I mean, breaking into the janitor's hut alone is a suspendable offence, but going to the basement... we're not even allowed there during school hours.
"Where's the janitor?"
"He's out patrolling the grounds. He could come back any minute."
Shit. Shit shit shit. "Dora... Dora, this is really bad," I grab his arm. "We should go back."
"Since when were you a pussy?" He pulls his arm away gently and walks ahead of me before turning around to face me. "Heeere, puss puss puss..." he says, making little clucking noises you make at a cat.
I can't even stop myself laughing at him. "Why are we doing this?"
"Don't you find it exciting, doing something you're not supposed to?"
I do things I'm not supposed to on a nightly basis, but nothing like this. We could actually get caught doing this, and there's no talking our way out of it. "If we get caught -"
"I'll just say I saw a pussy come through here and I needed to chase it out." He's smiling so much. It's like tequila and beer makes him a completely different person.
And I really really like this person.
And then an unpleasant thought crosses my mind. "Dora..."
He keeps walking through the hall. "Dora, wait."
He turns and looks at me. "What is it, pussy?"
"Are you trying to get me expelled? Is that what you're doing?"
He narrows his eyes at me. "What?"
"You know, after what I did, I guess I wouldn't be surprised..."
His face falls. "No... How would that even -"
And then the basement door opens.
"Who's down here!" An angry janitors voice.
"Fuck!" Dora whispers. He grabs my arm, pulling me into a closet and closes the door as quietly as he can.
The closet is small and full of brooms, mop buckets and general cleaning supplies. Dora pushes me against the wall behind the door, and we both stop breathing. We listen as the janitor passes, his torch flashing through the window of the door.
"We are so screwed..." I whisper as quietly as I can, but Dora lifts a finger and puts it gently on my lips for a few seconds. His body is pressed right up against mine. Our crotches are actually touching, and I'm acutely aware of it. I look at his lips. He's not smiling, but there's something in his face... the way he's looking at me. His cheeks are pinker than before, from what I can see of them.
We hear the janitor approach again, and I pull him close to me, wrapping my arms around his waist as if this would make us less visible. We see the torchlight, and we press ourselves against the wall in the small space as much as we can. And as the footsteps get quieter and disappear up the steps, and when we hear the basement door close again, we don't let go of each other.
His eyes are so bright, even though the only light we have is the emergency light from the hall leaking through the glass panel of the door. Our bodies still pressed together, I can feel how warm he is, and I wonder if he can feel my warmth too.
"I think he's gone..." Dora says softly.
I really don't want to let go of him. My heart is beating so fast it almost hurts to be like this with him. I feel like I'm going to explode. Don't let go...
My hands find their way to his face. His cheeks are so warm. I can't tell if it's because he's drunk or something else. He doesn't move away from me, and he doesn't look scared. I lean my face closer to his and his eyes shut. Kiss him. KISS HIM. FUCKING KISS HIM, YOU LOSER!
Our lips are millimetres apart, but I can't bring them closer, even though I want to. I really want to. But my body stops me.
"We should... we should head back," I say awkwardly, bringing my face away a little bit.
He opens his eyes. And then he pulls himself out of my grasp. "Oh... Um... Yeah, we should."
The stressful journey out of the building is a quiet one. By the time we get to the door, we're both so on edge I think one of us will possibly shit ourselves if the other so much as breathes. But we get out the door without a hitch.
I think too soon. Within seconds of locking the back door, we hear the janitor's voice from across the field. "You! You little brats!"
I grab Dora's hand, and we run and run and run across the field towards the Manor. The janitor only chases us for a few seconds. I'm very thankful that it's dark and that the janitor is in his sixties.
We collapse on the grass. Dora is gasping hard for breath, lying flat on his back.
"I haven't... run... that... much..." I can hear the effort in his words. "Ever... possibly..."
I can't stop laughing. "You're so unfit!"
He pulls a box of Marlboro out of his pocket and places one between his lips. "I'm gonna... die..." He lights it surprisingly well, considering gravity and his lack of lung power. "I've never been that scared... in my life..." He puffs.
"Yeah well, whose fault is that..." I lie down next to him on my front. I'm only a little out of breath.
"It was fun, though, right?" He grins at me.
"Which part? Being trapped in the cupboard? Nearly getting caught? Twice?"
He takes the cigarette from his lips, smiling up at me. "I don't know, the bit in the cupboard was quite fun..."
Is he... is he flirting with me?
I let myself smirk. "Yeah..." I can feel words coming... words I don't think I should say, but my body thinks differently. "I wonder what your boyfriend would think about it..."
Dora's eyebrows furrow and he tilts his head. "Boyfriend?" He takes in another drag.
"Yeah... the guy you were with earlier?"
He suddenly starts choking on the smoke and sits up. "What?!" he splutters between coughs. "That wasn't my boyfriend, oh my god!" He seems genuinely horrified.
"Who was it then?"
"Ichiro! My brother!" He laughs a little and shudders. "Oh my god..."
Of course. My face falls into the grass. "I'm an idiot."
"Come on, we better get back to the room before I throw up..."
He stubs his cigarette out and tucks it filter end into his boot, and grabs on to the gutter.
"Be careful!" I say to him like a protective parent.
"Do you think you're the only one who's snuck out like that?" He turns and smiles at me - oh god, that smile - before hiking himself up.
We lie on our beds in our pyjamas. The room feels stuffy and humid, even with the windows open. I can hear Dora breathing, but he's not sleeping.
"Milo..." I hear him say sleepily.
"Mmm?"
He shuffles out of his bed and over to mine, sitting down next to me. I prop myself up on my elbow. He seems a little bit soberer now.
"Were you..." He pauses, looking at his lap. "Were you going to kiss me?"
Oh god... "Umm..." My heart is beating so fast; not just from the question, but he's just so close, and I can feel his body heat on my thigh. "When?" I'm a fucking dumbass...
He looks at me with that classic Kikuchi glare. He's definitely sobering up... "In the cupboard."
How can I even answer this? Was I going to kiss him? I really wanted to. "I... I'm not really sure."
He looks back to his lap, his hands placed awkwardly on his legs. He looks horribly uncomfortable. "It seemed like you were going to." I feel a bit scared. He turns to me again, concern distorting his features. "Are you... playing the game with me?"
I sit up, my heart going thump thump thump as I see the hurt in his eyes. "No, I'd never -"
"You're playing some game though, right?"
I swallow hard. Dora's right, but it feels different. At this point... I don't even care about the end game anymore. I don't care about winning. I just don't want to lose.
I sit up and face him properly, looking him right in the eye. "Dora..." I don't want to lie. I don't. I really don't. "I'm not playing any games with you." When did I get so good at lying?
"Then what is it you're doing?"
I narrow my eyes at him. "You were the one who dragged me to the janitor's hut, pulled me into a cupboard and nearly got us expelled. What are you doing, Dora?"
His face falls to his hands. "I have no idea."
We sit in silence for a few moments, me looking at Dora and feeling such... I don't even know what. I keep thinking of being in that cupboard with him, how close we were, and how badly I wanted to kiss him. But if I kiss him, then I've started the game. I'm one step closer to Ana. But... do I even want Ana now?
I just don't want her to... to...
"Milo," Dora says muffled, face still in his hands. "I'm still a bit drunk."
I shuffle towards him a little more, so I'm right by him and move his hands away from his face. I can't hold back anymore. I can't stop myself.
This is not what I'm like, this is not what I do. I think I'm falling...
He's so beautiful. The moonlight shines through the window and on to his face. He looks so solemn, so unlike an hour ago. I stroke his soft skin, my thumb trailing down his cheek and on to his lips. I want them on mine. So soft...
I kiss him slightly. Just for a second, so briefly I can't even be really sure that our lips touched. So I do it again. And again. Tiny little kisses. Until I feel his lips part, and so do mine. I slip my tongue into his mouth, and his hand is on my neck, and he's pulling me in. Damn, he's a good kisser.
He teases me, kissing me slowly, his tongue only lightly touching mine. How is he this good? I feel myself sigh into his mouth, and my hands start to wander over his leg and up to his t-shirt, around his slim waist. I pull him close to me, his lips devouring me deeper, harder. He's so warm, but so am I. We fall into bed, Dora on top of me. I feel his hips, tucking my fingers into the back of his pants. I know I've got an erection; the heat I'm feeling down there is uncanny. Dora straddles me and bucks his hips against me, rubbing on my...area.
I hold his shoulders and break the kiss. "Dora, we shouldn't..." My body has a different opinion. He starts kissing down my neck. Am I dreaming?? Where did all this come from? "Dora, stop..."
And then his hand is in my pants, and he's wrapping his fingers around me. I immediately feel the heat welling inside me. It takes every ounce of will power to grab his arm. "Really... stop."
He looks at me with his big cat eyes and removes his hand. "Is it... not good?" he whispers.
"No, it is, it really is..." and inside I'm dying. "But you're still drunk and..." Since when was I so noble..? "I just think we shouldn't... do anything right now."
He rolls off me and lies on my arm. "Okay." He tilts his face up at me. I feel him drawing me in again, and we fall asleep revelling in each other's kisses.
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