This story is an AU (Alternative Universe) and Out of Character fanfiction written for YasminBJD, containing mostly her characters (see Credits and The Stories for details) and a couple of familiar faces.
It is my own interpretation of Les liaisons dangereuses/Dangerous Liaisons and contains scenes of a very sexual and sometimes upsetting nature, and strong adult language and themes. Please keep this is mind if you choose to read on!
I awake to the sound of the shower, and the light bursting through the open curtains. Flashes of last night's activities pass through my mind's eye as I listen to the water drops hitting the bathtub.
Ana. The bet. Kikuchi... "Milo, s-stop!"
The shame floods my body, and I'm wracked with guilt. I'm a monster... My head throbs as I sit on the bed, but the sickness doesn't hit. The one time I seriously deserve a hangover, I don't get one. Fuck. I guess I sobered up before I eventually fell asleep in a puddle of my own shame-tears. I go to my wardrobe to fetch some clean clothes and try to dissolve the reality of last night, but when I open it, I see none of my things.
This isn't my wardrobe anymore. I sigh and tilt my head back in tired frustration. A dark red notebook on the top shelf catches my eye. A diary? I reach for it, but before I can get my fingers on it, I hear the shower shut off in the bathroom. I quietly close the doors and move to quickly change before Kikuchi comes through. I station myself on my bed with the book I still haven't read properly yet, but I can't concentrate. I think of Ana and her too-short school skirt, and those long tan legs...
I need to make this right.
The bathroom door opens, and Kikuchi saunters through. I jolt up, throwing the book aside. He doesn't even look at me. Instead, he reaches for his hairdryer and plugs it into the wall, as if I wasn't here.
"Kikuchi, we need to talk about last -"
He cuts me off with the power of the hairdryer.
My heart falls a little in my chest. No wonder Kikuchi's ignoring me... How could I have done that to him? To anyone? Just to get a bit of skirt...
He faces away from me, the hairdryer filling the room with sound, dry heat, the smell of Kikuchi's shampoo, and my unending despair.
Fast forward two weeks; two weeks of awkwardness and dead silences. Kikuchi keeps out of the room as much as he can. I'm not sure where he goes, but I have sources telling me he spends most of his time in the library. It's kind of nice having the room to myself. It gives me time to clear my head, and space to dance.
I love dancing. It's the only thing apart from drinking that relaxes me. And I'm pretty darn good at it too. Tonight, I'm really feeling Pretty Reckless. As 'Follow Me Down' plays from my weak laptop speakers, I use the heavy beat as my guide and my stress as my motivator. I move through the small space of the room, and I feel my memories start to disappear into the song, turn after turn, body roll after body roll...
Follow me down to the river... Drink while the water is clean...
Suddenly the music stops, and I spin around.
"What are you doing?"
Kikuchi stares at me in part confusion and part expectancy, his hand pressed on my now closed laptop.
"You can't just creep up on people like that!" I cry out, defensive, embarrassed. No one usually sees me dance. It makes me feel vulnerable.
Oh...
"Sorry, but it's my room too..." He goes suddenly quiet as we both realise this is the most we've spoken since That Night. "Whatever. I just came to get my headphones."
He moves towards his bed, and I sit down on my own, breathless from the movement. He starts to dig through his bedside drawer, the silence disrupted only by the sounds of items being pushed aside.
"Kikuchi, I am... so sorry..."
He stops rummaging for only a second. "It's fine."
"It... it's not." I need his trust. I need him to believe me. "I have no idea what I was thinking," I say quietly, lying discreetly. I knew exactly what I was thinking... "That's not how..."
"How you play the game?" He looks at me through the corner of his eye, pulling his headphones from the drawer and standing. He moves to grab his backpack from the floor.
"I don't want to play the game with you, Kikuchi." Only half a lie... "I just... want us to be friends." I stand and step towards him.
He looks up at me with his cat eyes. My mind flashes back to his tear-stained cheeks and his warm skin... I feel my heartbeat just a little faster as I glance at his lips. The beats turn to thumps as the overwhelming desire to kiss him forces itself through my body. I realise I've never really been this close to his face before. He seems so small...
My hand lifts towards his cheek, but I stop myself. Body, what are you doing?? My lips start moving, entirely out of my control. "I... really like you."
What the hell, Milo?? This wasn't part of the plan!
His eyes widen, and I take a step back. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said that..." A nervous laugh comes out, and I scratch my head. "I'm sorry, Kikuchi."
He looks awkward. "Dora."
"What?"
"Just call me Dora. Only the coach calls me Kikuchi."
Something inside me smiles a little bit. Dora... How cute. "Okay... Dora."
I want him to smile back at me or say something else, but he just looks at me briefly before grabbing his bag and heading back out the door.
I'm back in the game.
"Why didn't you tell me this before?"
I stare at Ana's fabulous legs, glowing in the moonlight. "I just... didn't think it was relevant."
"I ought to disqualify you for that." She looks really serious. She swigs from the bottle of Jaeger. "That's not part of the game, Milo. Shit..."
"I know. I was really drunk. It set me back a bit, but it's okay, I think... I should be able to get him before the summer."
"You better hope you can because..." A dirty smirk dances across Ana's face. "I'm really looking forward to seeing your dad again..."
I sigh and take the bottle from Ana's hands. "... Actually, I think I might head back."
Her eyebrows rise. "Are you kidding? It's only midnight. And it's a long weekend. We're off school for four days, Milo."
"Yeah I know but..." Dora's face suddenly appears in my mind.
"What the fuck was that?"
"What?"
"Your eyes went all... glittery," she looks at me in disgust. "And you smiled."
I stand to leave, my jeans a little damp from the grass. "I'm going."
Ana pulls her phone out of her blazer pocket. "Ugh, fine... I'll call my ride. Have fun with your boyfriend..."
I walk away, throwing only a playful glare in her direction.
By the time I climb back up the water gutter, it's nearly half-past twelve. Dora is sitting on his window ledge, puffing lungfuls of pollution into the night air. The room is dimly lit by the lamp on his side table.
"You're up late," I say, grimacing as I sit on my bed, accidentally getting a mouthful of smoke.
"Yeah."
I stare over at him. As disgusting as smoking is, he looks... kind of hot. We've not really said much to each other since I said I liked him (and who even knows what the fuck that was about), but the atmosphere feels a little clearer tonight.
I've settled on trying to seduce him over the weekend before school starts again on Tuesday. I don't think I'll get all the way with him, but it'll make a dent...
"Are you doing anything over the weekend?"
He stubs out his cigarette. "I'm going out tomorrow night, but that's all."
"Oh, really? Like... out drinking?" A little excitement leaks into my words. If he comes home drunk... That'd be perfect.
"Don't know. Probably." He climbs back on to his bed and grabs a book from his side table. He's already in his pyjamas, reminding me of my damp jeans.
I stand and pull my shirt off and unbuckle my jeans, kicking them aside, before reaching for my own pyjamas. I glimpse towards Dora briefly and catch him looking at me. It's only for a second, but I know that look... I notice a blush cross his face, and it makes me smile a little as I climb into bed. Cute...
God. Snap out of it, dude.
"Do you want me to turn my light off..?" a quiet voice says.
"No, that's fine..." I turn to face him, but I can't see him because of the wardrobe.
"You're normally out later than this."
Is he...actually...retaining conversation?
"I guess I got bored."
"I see. Goodnight then."
"G'night..."
The day passes with little activity. Very much so that, unlike my usual self, I decide to start my final essay for English. I can barely remember anything from the book. This is gonna be a long day.
It's six o'clock. My stomach rumbles loudly.
"Do you know if the cafeteria is open tonight?"
Dora looks at me. "I can't see why not. Pretty sure the staff know not all of the students are going out tonight."
Yeah, but most of them are.
He grabs his shoes from under his bed. "I'm about to leave, I can walk down with you... if you want."
"Sure..."
As we walk through the hall, I take a minute to study Dora. He actually looks really nice, like he's made an effort; skinny black jeans, black DMs, and a red cardigan over a kind of low cut fitted t-shirt. Damn... This boy cleans up good. His little body in all this tight clothing sends my mind racings with unsavoury thoughts.
As we approach the bottom of the stairs, he looks at his phone.
"Oh, my ride is here. But," Dora looks towards the cafeteria, to the left of the stairs. "It looks like it's open." He glances at me quickly. "Well, see you later." And he heads out the front door.
His ride? I'm immediately curious. I watch him walk out the door before shuffling up to the window.
A tall guy is waiting next to a black car. He turns when he hears Dora and a smile lights up his face. He's handsome, slim, with messy black hair. He hugs Dora for a long time, and kisses him on the forehead, ruffles his hair. The guy holds Dora's face in his hands for a second, smiling like an adoring idiot, but Dora pushes him away. And then they get into the car and drive away.
And then a sinking feeling... a sinking feeling that destroys any ounce of hunger that was in my stomach. I remember Dora's tears, his struggle, the look of complete destruction in his eyes that night. It wasn't because he's a virgin.
He's in love with someone.
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