Warning: 18+ readers only; this blog is dark and full of terrors!
(Strong & suggestive language!)
This story is an AU (Alternative Universe) and Out of Character fanfiction written for YasminBJD, containing mostly her characters (see Credits and The Stories for details) and a couple of familiar faces.
It is my own interpretation of Les liaisons dangereuses/Dangerous Liaisons and contains scenes of a very sexual and sometimes upsetting nature, and strong adult language and themes. Please keep this is mind if you choose to read on!
I feel hot as Dora whispers in my ear again. "Show me..." His hand is shuffling slowly. This feels too good...
I find myself pushing him away. "Don't."
"What's with you?" He seems annoyed.
"What's with you?" I mirror his annoyance. Feelings are boiling up in my chest; anger, confusion, love... "One minute you're all cold and distant with me, and the next you're trying to fuck me..."
He looks at me with a pained expression. His lips part as if to say something but only a sigh comes out.
"Dora, I actually like you, okay? Don't you feel like that?" I stare at him intently. My heart is beating so hard I can imagine it breaking against my ribs. He maintains eye contact awkwardly, lips still agape with empty speech.
"I..." and then he looks away - of course - and bites his bottom lip. "I'm going to get hurt."
He rolls over and moves off the bed. I sit up, watching him walk over to his phone.
"Dora, I don't --"
"Wait a second." He types furiously on the screen, obviously texting someone.
What the hell is going on? "Dora, what --"
"You're going to say you don't want to hurt me?"
"I'm trying desperately not to hurt you!"
He glares at me, angry tears in his eyes. "You're so full of shit," he says with a low, muted voice.
I dart towards him, grabbing his shoulders. "Dora, I have done nothing but try and show you --"
"Show me what? That you can pretend you have actual feelings?" He tries to turn away from me, droplets falling down his cheeks. "Well, it didn't work."
"I can understand why you would think I'm lying. I really can. But... I..."
More words. Words I shouldn't say. Words that I've never said before. I can feel the blood pumping through my body. I stare at Dora's wet face, the pain in it making my heart hurt.
"Please don't say what you're about to say. We both know it's all a lie." He sounds so calm and harsh at the same time, another tear rolling down his face. His voice is so quiet I can barely hear him. His eyes are fixed away from me. "We're both such bad people."
I run my fingers over his cheek as if to try and wipe away the sadness. His eyes shut, and he breathes in unsteadily. I rest my forehead on his, holding his face in both hands, the quiet settling between us.
"I'm falling in love with you."
I whisper it so quietly I can't even be sure I actually say it. But Dora's reaction is enough to let me know that I indeed say it and that it was probably a bad idea.
"Milo, you shouldn't have said that," he says, the volume of his voice matching mine.
And then I hear a sharp laugh. It doesn't come from Dora but behind me. I turn around.
"How touching," Ana says with crossed arms. The door is swung open. "Really. Who knew you actually could feel love."
"Ana, what are you doing here?" I look from her to Dora, who is looking at the ground, his face red.
"I came to collect my debt, but it seems like I'll be paying out today."
"Can we talk outside?" I say to her between gritted teeth.
"Anything you have to say, you can say in front of Kikuchi." Ana smiles at him, and reaches into her pocket, retrieving four fifty-pound notes. She walks towards Dora and stretches her arm out to him. He takes it from her quickly, not looking directly at her. What...
"... the hell is going on here?" I blurt out.
"Kikuchi and I had a little bet going as well --"
"Ana, don't --" Dora interrupts.
"He has a right to know if he's been getting played, as did you."
WHAT?!
I turn to Dora. "Please tell me what's going on here!"
He looks up at me with big eyes. "You made a bet about me first..." His voice shakes between his lips. "You were trying to trick me because you wanted to sleep with her."
My stomach churns. I shut my eyes tightly as I fight the urge to vomit, or punch something.
"So Ana... she wanted to humiliate you."
I look over to her now, her pretty face filled with hatred and sadness as she looks in my direction, and then back to Dora. It can't have all been a lie... it's just can't.
"She said that you would try anything to get me to sleep with you and that I'd probably fall for it. So... she said if I... if I..." Dora cringes. "If I got you to say you love me, then she'd give me two-hundred-pound."
I feel myself fall to the bed. "How... when did you even meet?"
"Before we went to the janitor's hut..."
Last night... I turn to Ana. "I thought we were friends."
"Friends?" She looks at me in angry confusion. "We're not friends."
"What?"
"Do you remember Jason?"
Jason... from dance class. I met him six months ago, and he was so in love with me. I slept with him only a few times, but he was too clingy. And he had a girlfriend...
Oh my god. Jason was Ana's boyfriend.
"Milo, you need to realise it's not just the people you mess with who gets hurt."
And now the three of us are all hurting. All in different ways for different reasons, but the hurt is very, very real.
"I wanted... I just wanted to get back at you in some way. But you weren't meant to actually...fall in love with Kikuchi." She sighs. "You were meant to fall in love with me."
Dora looks at her sharply. "Excuse me?"
"He was meant to be coveting me. I wanted him to be jealous. I wanted to be the one who rejected him. Do you know how many times he tried to drop out of it?" She's totally staring Dora down now. "I forced him by threatening to sleep with his dad. You completely ruined the whole thing!"
My head falls into my hands for the second time tonight. "Ana, you need to leave, okay?" My voice is muffled in my palms. "You wanted to hurt me, and you have succeeded in that. So just go."
This is such a mess.
I hear the door closed not long after. I'm not sure whether Dora left with her and I'm too scared to look up and find out. I speak out anyway.
"You must really hate me."
There's a long pause. I can hear Dora breathing and move to his bed. "I'm sorry."
"Me too."
Dora's tiny voice. "It wasn't supposed to happen like this. We weren't supposed to feel like this."
"What do you mean?"
"Did you mean what you said?" He asks weakly, ignoring my question. "That you're falling in love with me?"
"Yes." I don't even have to think about it. "But you hate me, right? So it doesn't really matter now."
"You read my journal."
My body freezes. The journal... His feelings...
"I know you did, you don't need to deny it."
I finally look up from my hands. He's staring right at me with such softness. "Yeah. I did read it. Some of it, anyway."
He sighs. "Then... you'll know the reason I was so on and off is that I wanted to protect myself. I knew... well, I thought I knew what you were doing, but I could still...feel myself falling for it." He looks down at the money still in his hands. "Falling for you."
Dora stands, throwing the bills on the bed and walks towards me, kneeling on front of me. "I know we both did bad things... and I forgive you for everything. Please forgive me too."
I grab his hands and pull him closer, between my knees, and wrap my arms around his shoulders and rest my chin on his head.
"I've never told anyone I love them before, you know that?" I whisper into his ear softly and breathe in his sweet clean scent.
He nods. "I promise I'll be more worthy of your affection."
"But I like your stand-offish personality," I tease him. I pull back and hold his face like I seem to have a habit of doing. "And you're already worthy of my affection."
Dora leans into me and kisses me just a little before nuzzling my neck. "I want to make it up to you regardless," he whispers. "Please?"
How could I possibly say no?
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