REN
I've only been in London for a few days, and it's as if all the drama I avoided in high school is coming back to haunt me. As I dart down the stairs, my body in a panic, I scan the crowd for Ichi. Even if he were out here, I probably wouldn't be able to see him among all the black hair and white faces. I slide through the door and head back inside, continuing my search. I only plan to find him, say goodnight, and run away before any more shit hits the fan. I need to get out of here...
I search for ten minutes with no luck. I resign myself to leaving without telling Ichi and will text him when I'm outside. I head towards the foyer where we came through earlier.
I make my way out the front door, nodding to the bouncers who are still letting people in. Once I'm out on the street, I take a second to figure out my surrounding. I think we came from this direction...
I look to the left, vaguely remembering the road and the shops and pubs lining it. I study a little further, the potent alcohol still taking effect on my vision. I see two figures in the distance, and I recognise them as Ichi and Panda. I can tell that they're talking in hushed tones, and I can't hear them - but even if they weren't, they're too far away for me to be able to eavesdrop anyway. I take a few steps closer, and Panda's face becomes a little clearer. He looks angry. Ichi is reaching for his arm, stroking it soothingly and Panda continues to sulk. He's so tall next to Ichi, he seems almost like a giant with his platformed boots.
I watch their strange interaction, studying their body language, and I finally figure out why it's so weird.
Ichi's hand comes up to Panda's face, and he strokes it lovingly. I gawk at them for a second, wondering what the hell Camden is doing to everyone, and then think better of myself and turn away, realising I probably wasn't supposed to see that.
On second thoughts, maybe we came the other way...
I awake with no hangover, shockingly. I reach for my phone and see a message from Ichi.
- Sad you left! Everyone disappeared at the same time.
I reply briefly before I notice the time. It's past noon. So much for getting up early...
I immediately think of Theo.
I left him with Andrei. I knew I shouldn't have, but I had to get out of there. I dread to think of what happened, and I yearn to know more, what happened between them that lead to Andrei's adverse reaction. I had only the dark image in my mind of them fumbling in the toilet, and God knows where else.
After I spend the afternoon in the kitchen, I decide to revisit the bar in the hope that I'll see Theo. I feel like I need to speak to him, make sure he's okay.
When I enter, I notice only Nana behind the bar. It's quiet, as expected on a Sunday evening. He greets me immediately.
"How was the night?" he asks with a bit of a cheeky smile.
I grimace. "It was interesting."
He chuckles nodding. "I expected so."
"Is Theo working?" I'm trying to sound as casual as possible, but he can probably see right through me. "I... lent him my lighter last night. It has sentimental value."
I'm about to spin him a story about a dead great-aunt and Vietnam, but before I can, he chirps "He's not here yet, but you can wait in the back for him if you want. He's not due in for another half hour, but he's normally in early for coffee."
I nod, and he leads me through to the back. He gestures to the kettle and tells me to help myself before disappearing back through to the bar. I look around, taking in the room. It's like a kitchen-livingroom hybrid; to the right side of the back door, there's a sink and a counter space with a kettle and microwave, and cupboards above. To the left, there's a small bookcase with a radio and a few books. A little green couch and coffee table dominates the centre of the room. It's actually a very cosy space and fairly nicely decorated for a workplace common area. I push the back door open and sit on the step, deciding to light a cigarette while I wait and puff on it slowly, trying to figure out what it is I'm actually going to say to Theo when he gets here. I'm hidden behind an industrial dustbin, so anyone walking past the alley can't see me.
Suddenly, I hear voices getting closer and then disastrously so. I stub out my cigarette quickly.
"Andrei, seriously -"
"Please, can we just talk?"
"What is there to talk about? What do you want from me?"
The shuffling of feet.
Softly: "I can't stand this distance between us."
Silence.
I peek under the bin and see two sets of feet almost on top of each other.
DORA
"Andrei... don't."
I can feel myself softening. No, Dora, stay strong. Don't let him do this.
His hands are on my neck. "I missed you so much while you were gone." All desperation is gone from his voice.
I close my eyes, to shut out his shining light. The radiance hurts. I clench my fists at my sides, full of hate and stammering weakness. It's like I'm grabbing at any chance of keeping my head.
"Say you didn't miss me."
I gulp. "I didn't." My voice is a pathetic stutter, and I'm so ashamed of myself. I open my eyes just so I can glare at him.
"Liar." Andrei brings his lips closer, tempting me to kiss him. "Say you didn't miss me," he says again.
"I didn't..." I can't. I can't get the words out.
And then I envision Ren, and his hands and his body (oh God, that body), and his lips. I feel myself smirk as Seo comes out in me.
"I got over you while I was away."
Andrei pulls his face away and squints at me. "What do you mean?"
"What do you think I mean?"
He stares at me, looking slightly horrified for a second before I see a wicked smile curl on his lips. "You're bluffing."
Even though I'm not, and I'm still angry, I somehow feel like he's just beaten me.
"Even if you were telling the truth, that doesn't really bother me."
Andrei moves close to me again, but this time he pulls me in, and I feel his lips. I wish I could stop him. I wish I had the power to. But I don't, and instead of pushing him away like I should, I grab his shoulders and let our tongues thrash at each other. It's violent, and I bite at his lips, not even trying to be gentle. His hands push my arms off him, and he grabs my wrists, pinning them above my head.
"Don't even try to get away from me," he whispers cruelly in my ear. "I'll just keep coming after you."
And then I feel his teeth on my neck.
Panic overcomes me as his mouth sucks on the skin. "Andrei, don't!"
He holds me fast as I try to wriggle free from him, but he's much stronger than I am. I inwardly hate myself for not doing more exercise, and also enjoying the sharp pain in my neck.
He sucks hard as he bites down and I can feel all the blood in my neck rushing to his mouth, as well as the blood everywhere else speeding to other places, daring to imagine how dark the mark is going to be.
Eventually, Andrei withdraws and lets go of my wrists, letting my arms fall to my sides. He steps back to inspect his work and then looks me at me like a vampire who's made a kill.
"Just in case you forget who you belong to."
I stare at him, still in shock from what's just happened, as he walks away from me. He turns and disappears into the street.
REN
I want to go back in time and not go out for a smoke.
I hear Theo utter a quiet "Fuck" before walking towards me. I freeze in panic as he appears in front of me. I look up at his face before I stand.
"What the hell are you doing?" he says quietly.
I stammer. "I came to speak to you, but I can see you're a bit busy."
He seems pretty wrecked as he pushes past me to open the door. "What do you want?"
What do I want? "I... I'm sorry about last night," I say following him inside.
Theo looks to the kettle, busying himself with a cup. "As far as I'm concerned, it never happened."
I walk closer to him, and he seems to freeze. I brush his hair away from his neck.
"Who gave you that?" I ask, knowing damn well who it was.
Theo takes a sharp breath. "You. Don't you remember?"
I run my fingers over the dark red bruise. "I'd never mark you like that."
He reacts for only a second, closing his eyes and softening to my touch before he remembers he's not supposed to care.
"Then how is it any of your business?" Theo opens the cupboard struggling to reach for the coffee, so I bring it down to him. "I didn't need you to do that." He looks up at me with a black stare.
"I'm just -"
"Ren, what are you actually doing here? Whatever happened last night doesn't even matter."
"What about... before?" I can almost feel my heart in my mouth just at the thought of it.
He looks away, pouring the now boiled water into his cup with the coffee granules. "That too. Doesn't matter."
"Well, it must matter a little bit," I say cockily. "To make Andrei jealous, right?"
Theo freezes just as he's about to put the kettle back on the counter. The smell of coffee assaults my nostrils, making me crave for a cup. He's completely silent as he slowly lowers it down like he's thinking about what to say.
"He's not a good guy."
Theo spins around to face me, the smallest distance between us.
"And you are?" I can see the anger on his face, his eyes fierce, and his mouth even more downturned than usual. "You don't even know me, or Andrei, so who the hell are you to decide -"
I don't stop myself pulling him close to me, but I resist kissing him, as painful as it is. "You're right. I don't know you. I only know you like to put vodka in your beer, even though you can't handle your alcohol. I know you pretend you're all tough and hard."
He looks up at me, a blush slowly forming on his porcelain face. I bring my lips to his ear, still suffering the urge to touch him.
"I know how your skin tastes, and how you sound when you're about to come."
"Sh-shut up," Theo stammers in a whisper.
"You're better than him."
I let go of him and step back, just as Nana pops his head around the door.
"Oh, you got him!"
"Yep," I say, flashing my lighter at him. "I'll be going now." I smile at Theo as he glowers back at me, and I can almost hear his curses inside his head.
No comments:
Post a Comment