(Strong language!)
ANDREI
It's been a week since I said goodbye to Dora. I don't think he's told anyone about it since Fox is still speaking to me, which gives me hope that there's no lynch mob waiting for me at the bar.
It's Fox's birthday, and I've decided to surprise her. But as I get closer to Black Cat, the temptation to turn back is strong. I probably picked the wrong day to show my face since everyone will have come to celebrate with her. I grip the card envelope in my shaking hands, hoping that my illustration of us doesn't offend her: It's something she'll never really see again.
I finished the drawing only a few days ago. It was challenging; tears kept creeping up to my eyes and then down my face, and I had to wipe them away before they hit the paper. Marius couldn't understand what was wrong with me, but how could I tell him?
The closer I get to the bar, the louder the music gets. And then it's almost deafening. There's a band playing? Fox has never had live music before. It sounds pretty good, with both indie and punk tones, and vocals that remind me of Jeff Buckley.
I push open the door, and the music and familiarity of the room hit me like a speeding bus.
It's so crowded that Fox doesn't see me at first. As I push my way to the bar, I realise the overwhelming number of young female customers that seem to be littered everywhere, all of them with their eyes glued to the band playing. I somehow manage to get to the bar and squeeze in between two unreasonably tall men, but Fox still doesn't notice me. I wait patiently for her eyes to glance over at me.
And when they do, it's like she doesn't recognise me for a second. But when she does, she smiles widely. She gestures for me to come around to the back, so I make my way around the crowded bar. As I get closer to the end of the room, I look up to see the band.
I look at each of the members, trying to see if I recognise any of them. And then my eyes land on Nana, and at the same time, his land on me.
His expression is much like Fox's. Only he doesn't slip into a cheerful smile. Instead, he stares at me like he's just found me on the bottom of his shoe and he wants to wipe me on the carpet.
I break the uncomfortable gaze and quickly slide around, letting myself through to the back room and wait for Fox to come through.
"I can't stay through here long, we're understaffed and completely mobbed," she says, smiling brightly.
"Happy birthday," I offer, handing her the envelope.
She grins and opens it, carefully removing the paper inside. I watch her face eagerly, both apprehensive and excited for her reaction.
"Oh, wow..." Her voice is quiet. "Andrei, this..."
I bite down on my lip, my stomach churning.
"This is just... wow," she says, gushing. "You drew this?"
"Yes," I mumble. "I hope it's okay."
Fox smiles sweetly and pulls me towards her. "I love it, thank you so much." She hugs me tightly. "I'll cherish it forever."
We hug for a few seconds. I can feel myself getting emotional and pull away from Fox anxiously.
"I think I'll just go," I say.
Fox puts her hand on my arm. "No, please stay!"
"I don't know..."
"Panda will be here soon. Stay at the bar with me until he gets here. No one is talking to each other right now, and it's stressing me out."
I nod uncertainly and follow her through to the front.
It's a long wait for Panda. As the band finishes up, singing a punk rendition of Happy Birthday for Fox, the bar empties out slightly, and I manage to find a space to sit.
I hear a colourful voice behind me. "Andrei?"
I turn, and Panda stares at me wide-eyed.
"Hi."
"Andrei!" He smiles at me widely and wraps his arms around me.
I was not expecting such a warm welcome.
"I've missed you," he effuses, ruffling my hair.
"You're about the only one," I utter, turning back to the bar as he sits down next to me.
Panda smiles sadly and looks around him, scanning the crowded room, and then looks back to me.
"Did you hear The Amber Roses?" Panda asks, nodding towards the band as they tidy up their instruments.
I nod as he looks around absently as if he's looking for someone. "Yeah, they were pretty good."
The conversation is oddly awkward. Usually, Panda and I have no problem finding something to talk about, but I sense he'd rather be elsewhere.
"Panda, it's okay, you don't need to sit with me."
He turns suddenly. "What? Andrei, I want to be here."
"Why are you looking everywhere but at me, then?"
Panda looks at his beer that has appeared without either of us noticing. "I'm looking for Ichi. I'd rather not go into it right now."
It takes us only a few minutes to finish our beers. Panda suggests we go out for a quick cigarette and even though I've not smoked (or drank) in weeks, I concur.
In the warm night air, our smoke floating around us, things start to feel a little more conventional. I almost forget the feeling of the last few weeks, the pain of having absolutely no one to talk to, like everyone hated me. Panda is kind enough not to bring up Dora, and I don't ask about Ichi. I can kind of figure what's happened, going by the looks they often shared after they met. But now is not the time for a heart-to-heart.
We head back inside, only to find that the band members - minus Nana - have taken our spot. I shrug it off and fight through some of the girls at the bar to get Panda and me some drinks.
"Damn, what's with all these girls?" Panda hums, looking at them in rebuke.
"You're so gay..." I utter playfully, and he nudges me.
I glance over, studying each of the attractive musicians; the tall blonde one is chatting away to one of the girls, and the moody looking one is quietly mulling over his pint. The long-haired and arguably better looking one - the singer - is sat between two girls who are both fawning over him, trying to ply him with drinks. He seems utterly miserable and quite distressed, but they keep pawing at him.
Panda nods at them. "Poor Maki."
"Most guys would love to be where he is."
"I feel sorry for him," Panda laments. "It's the same in class. All the girls fancy him because he's cute and good at acting. They don't realise he's not like that in real life at all."
I look over at Maki, so sullen and miserable and pretty, drawing little shapes in the condensation on his pint. "I don't really blame them, though." I glance over at Panda to watch his reaction. He smirks, shaking his head.
Before I've decided I'll do it, I'm nudging my way over to him and sliding between him and one of the girls.
"It's Maki, right?" I say to him.
He looks at me like I'm a crazy person. "Yes..."
"I'm Andrei. I'm here to help you."
His lips hint at a small smile while I order two shots and catch Fox rolling her eyes at me.
"You can go now," I say to the two girls, waving them away. I lift my shot and clink it against Maki's before we both pour them down our throats. "You are gorgeous, Maki."
"I know about you," he says, his eyes meeting mine confidently.
My heart sinks a little. "It's bad, isn't it?"
"Hmm..." He grimaces a little before smiling. "It's okay. The source was biased."
I grin at him wickedly and order more shots.
NANA
What the fuck is he doing here?
As soon as I see Andrei, I feel angry. Who even invited him?!
I don't have much of a view of him during the rest of the performance, thank God. I can feel the rage building inside me, but I can't figure out what I'm madder about; the fact he's here, what he did to Dora, or what I nearly did to him.
Ichi grabs me as soon as we finish tidying up the set.
"What's up?" I ask, noting his concerned appearance.
"Panda is here." His eyes are tense, and he's paler than usual. "Shit, I forgot he'd be here."
"How could you forget? He's always here..."
I'm aware that that's very unhelpful, but it's as if he also forgets that Panda is my brother.
"I don't even know; he is always here!" He runs a hand through his tousled hair.
He's saying something else, but I lose focus as I look across the room to see Andrei and Maki taking shots.
"Are you even listening to me?" Ichi says, waving a hand in front of my face.
"Yeah, sorry."
He continues talking for another fifteen minutes or so, but I can't focus on him. I catch the odd word, enough to nod like I'm paying attention, but as Andrei and Maki take their fifth round of shots, I can no longer stand and watch. Andrei has his flirting face on, and I can see that Maki is definitely not rebuffing him, sending me into a panic.
"I need to check on something quickly," I tell Ichi as I make my way across the room, faintly hearing him call behind me.
I push myself in next to Maki. He turns his head towards me.
"Hello," he chirps, obviously a bit drunk.
"You alright?" I say, glancing at Andrei who sips nonchalantly at his beer.
"Yep," Maki says.
"I need to have a quick word with Andrei."
The siren looks at me warily before following me through the bar and out the back door.
"What are you doing?" I chide him. "Fox told you to stay away."
"From Dora. Not the bar."
I glare at him. "Well, I'm telling you now. Stay away."
"Fuck you," he scoffs before turning to go back inside.
I grab his arm. "That wasn't a request, Andrei. I mean it."
"What's your fucking problem, Nana?" He yanks his arm from my grasp.
"You. You are my problem."
Andrei laughs cruelly. "Oh yeah? And why is that?" When I don't say anything, he shakes his head. "Fox wants me here. You can even ask her. You're just lucky I've not told her about that night you tried to fuck me."
"Keep away from Maki," I blurt without thinking, panicked at the thought of him finding out about my indiscretion or the idea of Andrei violating him. "You gonna try and screw him up too?"
"We're just talking, for fuck's sake! Am I not allowed to talk to your friends now?"
"Not to him!"
Andrei crosses his arms. "And you think you can stop me?"
I see red. I watch my hands come up and push against Andrei's chest, sending him back a few steps. "You think I won't?" I growl.
He glares at me with dark eyes. "What, are you going to fight me?"
I grab the collar of his sweater and pull his face close to mine. "I'll do more than fight you--"
"Nana, what the fuck are you doing!"
I turn, and Andrei pushes me away from him.
"I was--"
Before I can finish my sentence, Maki walks over to Andrei. "Are you okay?"
"Maki, I just--"
"Don't, Nana."
As Maki and Andrei walk away back inside, both acting as if I'm not even here, I can't speak. I want to go after them, at least try and apologise, but I don't. I'm too scared to hear what Maki will say, or what I'll see. So instead, I don't even go back inside. I go home, to wallow in self-pity.
MAKI
Honestly, sometimes I hate playing gigs. It's not even that I don't necessarily enjoy it - in fact, I love it most of the time. It's the group of fangirls who follow us to every gig we do; it's when Nana is usually too busy with all his friends to notice or help me, and Tamaki is too busy flirting with this one fan who is entranced by him. These girls, they don't realise how much of a persona I put on while performing and how in real life, I would rather rip out my eyelashes than talk to any of them. They can't see past Stage Maki; you see, Stage Maki is sexy, charming, flirtatious. He has boundless confidence as he glides across the stage, moving from one mic to another seamlessly. But Real Maki? Real Maki just wants to have a beer and chill out. He is no match for these crazy girls. My stage-induced popularity isn't a new problem; it happens in most places after we're finished playing and are relaxing at the bar.
So when a striking and beguiling mermaid-haired boy comes to my aid, I'm hardly going to shrug him off. Of course, I knew who Andrei was; Nana had mentioned a couple of times that they were at loggerheads over his flatmate, and didn't have much helpful to say about him.
As I swallowed down the second shot, Andrei turned to me. "So, you're not a fan of all these women?"
I laughed. "Really, no. I'm not really keen on people in general."
I watched a cheeky smile form on his lips. "You seem keen on Nana."
"Oh, that's just for show," I lied, hoping any redness in my cheeks that might have occurred would be construed as alcohol-related.
"It's compelling." He paused. "Panda says you're very... deceiving in your classes."
We chatted casually before we got the third round of shots, and in all honesty, I was enjoying the company and flirtatious attention from a fanciable guy.
I was surprised when Nana interrupted us on the fifth round since I thought he'd been entranced by his love. To be honest, I started getting annoyed as soon as he dragged Andrei away. I cursed Ichiro for coming to the gig since usually Nana would sit and drink with me for hours, and we'd talk about music and life and random shit. I'd complain about uni, and he'd complain about work. But not tonight.
As I sat in my slightly inebriated state and watched my beer, waiting for them to come back, I realised that my happiness shouldn't depend on whether Nana can be bothered speaking to me or not. I left my drink on the bar and nudged my way through the other customers. I wasn't sure exactly where they'd gone, so I followed the direction they'd left in. That's when I heard yelling from outside.
"Am I not allowed to talk to your friends now?"
And if I wasn't annoyed at Nana enough, his response was the aggravating icing on the cake of frustration.
"Not to him!"
I listened for a few more heated seconds before I pushed open the fire door and saw Nana holding Andrei by the collar, looking ready to tear him apart. I would be lying if I said it wasn't hard for me to take Andrei's side and walk away from Nana. But I had to.
Nana doesn't try to contact me until Tuesday. As soon as my phone rings, I want to reject the call or tell him to get lost because my heart still yearns for him, even after he was an asshole.
"What do you want?" I say abruptly, trying to sound as firm as possible.
"I'm sorry..." Nana starts. "I just... really don't trust Andrei."
Just his voice is enough to make me soften and melt all over again. "That's not an excuse to act like that."
"Maki, I didn't... I didn't mean to upset you. I was just worried about what he might try."
I don't say anything for a few seconds, my eyes shut tight, trying my damn hardest not to give in, to not let him get away with his actions. And so what if he attempted something with me? I want to ask. What business of yours is it?
"Come over tonight? Please?" he pleads.
My heart shudders uncontrollably. I want to see Nana so severely; it's like my body has missed him being near me. "I don't know," I say. I don't want to give in to him so quickly, but I can feel it happening.
"C'mon... Please?" Nana sighs. "You need to know that I'm not that person... I don't know what came over me."
I can hear in his voice that he's trying. I inwardly reprimand myself for being so damn weak, as I agree to go over for dinner.
"But you can buy the beer," I say finally.
No comments:
Post a Comment